Anonymous

A random posting

with thousand of words
( i was so shock , because what i blogged about ,its longer than my essay LOL )

Introduction of the story....
An unpleasant feeling
she gave me
on that day we met
and i thought if i did anything wrong?

she was trying to ignore me 

just as i was invisible to her
and i just didnt give a damn about it

but then the feeling really put me through
since we are so close 

the relation is unique and irreplaceable

but i think i was so wrong

"she spent lotsa money like using water ,totally unlimited,

and i think she was taking advantage after the death of her dad,
hanging out with friends almost everyday" she thinks.

oh well...
i have told all
to my mum
and my mum was

"oh...as we cant control people's mind and stop their mouth,
let them do and think what ever the way they want"

it was really unpleasant

so i am here to
i simply grumbled on all what you "think" of

since you are studied in a "air-conditioned school"
live a rosy in a "palace" with comfort
and you dont need to worry and stress about anything
since you can study in a good college with a so so result
go anyway you want
have anything that you want
i do think the number you hang out was hundred times of mine
what an easy life like this?
its like everything was so fine in your life

can you think on behalf of me??
i dont even have a dad
dont live a rosier and easy life like you

even though i got a full scholarship in college but i still need to give up of it

because i'm afraid that my family cant afford my daily expenses

I need to pick up my form 6 studies

and do you think that form 6 is easy as you think?

almost everyday i need to finish up tons of homework and assignments

moreover, i still need to attend for co-curricular class after school

(so that i always back to home about 5pm everyday)
and as you know i am going to have a big exam "STPM" this year
since the last November holiday , i already started to study and revise
i woke up at 4.30 am every morning
(i bet you are still slumbering on your bed)
attend for tuition class by taking train and bus to KL
all the things that i did just to be the best
and get best result
so i can get into best local U
(its all free)

these are all tensions!!

do you think i have so much leisure time to spend at house everyday?

i do need some activities to release my tension

sing k and movies
(and you think that it was too much ??!!)

nevertheless,

i spent my own money without asking money from my mum

(yeah..of coz it was my pocket-money

so ?? i rather starved myself at school so that i can spend those money on my leisure time to hang out)

and that's bother you??

i starve myself until i got gastric

and that's bother you again??

my sister is still young and i did bring her to watch movie

and was that wrong??

oh...

or i should always stay at home to recap all those unhappy things

suppose to cry at home for days and nights

keep doing my homework like a nerd in room

or you think Teevee and internet are enough to entertain you??

but honestly i still do my job to study and get good result

it didnt bring any effect to my studies

and i didnt change as i was still me

i think before taking any action

i bet you will never know how its feel  if you are in my situation

that's what
I really wondering
if we need to survive in the way of people's think of

follow their track
so they wont judge on us and gossip about you??
why cant we be the way we are?
at least we are happy about it
and that's what life is??

I dont think so!
i need to live a life just to satisfy others..

do what ever you want
blather about what you want

i know you are only showing some caring
i will bear in my mind
and i will try to change

but, please ..just a second to think on behalf of me
in my situation
but not to think in your way of life
because i am not you
i think you will totally insane or burn out
if you live a life like this

yeah...i live on a dependable and poverty life
but who will ever want to own a life like this??
i have no choice
but to live a better and happy live on my own
and i was satisfied with it